Radio
Talking ATM
(:60)
ATM: Welcome to Big Bank’s Automated Teller
Machine. Please insert your cash card.
Man: (excitedly) Wow, a talking ATM!
(Sound of man punching in PIN number)
ATM: There will be a charge of $2 for this
transaction. Shall I proceed?
Man: (slight hesitation) Okay.
ATM: Because you don’t bank at this branch of Big
Bank, there will be an additional charge of $1 for this
transaction. Shall I proceed?
Man: But I never had to pay . . .
ATM: There will be an additional charge of
$2 if you don’t make up your mind quickly.
Man: (quickly) Alright, alright already.
ATM: I’ll need your driver’s license.
Man: Why?
ATM: To verify you’re you.
Man: Oh alright . . .You call
this convenience banking?
ATM: Withdrawal or deposit.
Man: Withdrawal please.
ATM: How much do you want?
Man: (considering his options) Um . . .
ATM: There will be an additional . . .
Man: Fifty dollars! Gimme fifty dollars!. . .
sheesh.
ATM: Okay now give me your watch.
Man: What?!
ATM: Place it in the compartment.
Man: No way!
ATM: Do it or you’ll never see your driver’s
license again.
Man: What the --? Hey!
Anncr: Tired of outrageous bank fees? Consider
your local credit union. Fewer fees, better service, lower rates on
loans. And it’s easier to join than you might think. Call today
for more information. The number’s in your yellow pages.
(Jingle)
ATM: You want a receipt with that?
Man: (caustically) Is there an extra charge?
ATM: Not normally, but you’ve developed an
attitude.
Man: Oh brother.
