Radio
Cannibal Bank
(:60)
(music – 1930’s
horror flick c/f into teletype sf/x)
Anchor:
This just in from Metropolis . . . a large unidentified object
is gobbling up the city’s banks right and left. We go to reporter
Al Biether on location.
(sf/x –
explosions and people screaming)
Reporter: We’ve just identified the . . . the thing. And you
won’t believe this -- it’s another bank. Some kind of weird alien
cannibal bank, gobbling up its own kind, growing constantly in size
and fury. I’m talking now to an eyewitness.
Man: (crying) One minute I was standing outside Trusty
Bank and the next minute, it was gone. Just gone I tell you. And
Cannibal Bank was in its place.
Reporter: The carnage is unbelievable. Banks, large and small,
gobbled up, within minutes, seconds.
Woman: It’s just so frightening. I ran to the only place
where I felt safe.
Reporter: Where was that ma’am?
Woman: Why, my credit union of course.
Reporter: It’s true. The credit unions are all standing. Not
missing even so much as a teller. They seem to have some kind of
natural resistance to the Cannibal Bank.
Anchor: A
strange phenomenon indeed.
Announcer: You
never have to worry about your credit union being “eaten” by a huge
conglomerate. Credit unions are non-profit financial organizations
owned by the community members who use them. Your credit union and
your money are guaranteed to stay in the community. Call your local
credit union for more information. The number’s in your yellow
pages.
[jingle]
